漏气漏油

从超市出来， 正要上车， 不赖森就说要尿尿。 妈咪没时间，把两个车门一开， 叫他就地解决。妈咪再后边挡着， 他就开始了。 看着地上流出来的小河，不赖森说： 他们会以为汽车漏气了。 妈咪说： 漏气， 这跟漏气象吗？不赖森马上改口： 他们会以为汽车漏油了。

lawyer

今天妈咪到Y那里， 想问问怎么老是中心看电影的事。 跟Ms. Celia 聊了蛮久的。 讲到了不赖森的个性。 老师这样评价不赖森： very assertive, very claim on his own right. very argumentative! He can argue forever pointlessly for clueless things! That is his nature personability.

Parenting tip: Nurture this personablity by positive discipline. Ms. Celia said: Brycen can be a lawyer! Brycen simply needs to be channelled and directed to this path. No Yelling, No scolding. Simply tell him "you can argue like that but it's time to stop." Teach him the timing of argumentative. Brycen to grow up to be a lawyer is exactly what's in Mom/Dad's mind! Ms. Celia said that she has a friend in Phillipine is so like Brycen in terms of argumentative and she become a lawyer!

Rather than having headache with Brycen's pointless arguement, channel him to the right path with positive discipline.

蹑手蹑脚蹑嘴巴

不赖森在家的时候经常很吵， 走步就是跑步， 讲话就象大喇叭。 平时还没什么， 可是弟弟在睡觉的时候就很影响弟弟了。

今天洗完澡后，

妈咪： 好， 到房间里穿衣服去。要安静， 不要弄出声音。 蹑手蹑脚的到房间里。

妈咪边说边比蹑手蹑脚的动作。

不赖森： 妈咪， 还要蹑嘴巴。。。

不赖森边说边把嘴巴蹑得紧紧的！

奶奶的笑话

1。 带奶奶去看医生。 护士说要来看病的医生是个白色人种但是会讲中文。 妈咪跟奶奶用潮州话说： 要来看的医生是个白人。 奶奶说： 啊， 白人也能当医生？都不知道看得准不准。

2。 医生问奶奶： 你有没有住过院？

奶奶： 没有

医生： 有没有做过手术。

奶奶： 没有。 （又想了一下：） 有

妈咪： 是什么手术，

奶奶： 节育

3。 医生： 你做什么工作？

奶奶： 退休了， 没有工作。

医生： 那你以前是做什么工作？

奶奶用潮州话跟妈咪商量： 信用社都不知道他知不知道？

妈咪： 以前再银行工作。

医生： 在银行里做什么？

奶奶： 服务生。。。。

妈咪和奶奶在辩怎么她得工作当然不是服务生， 象餐馆里边一样得。还是这个医生聪明： 会计

4。奶奶以为医生开的高血压药必须在医生这里买，使劲说她没事不用吃药。 当问了妈咪知道不用在医生这里买药， 奶奶一下子就笑了： 拿我们就说好， 拿单子走， 他也不知道我们有没有吃药。 妈咪对奶奶的这种行为笑坏了， 给医生翻译了一下， 医生笑得开心死了： 你可以欺骗我， 可以欺骗外边很多人， 可是你不能欺骗你得身体。

整个诊断过程医生谈笑风声，当奶奶听得懂他的中文的时候， 医生高兴得直鼓掌。 最后还跟妈咪说： she's so cute!

我不要你肚子变大

不赖森某一天起来， 问妈咪： 妈咪， 你是不是肚子里还有另外一个baby？ 我不要你再有一个baby.

妈咪问： 为什么？

不赖森： 因为我不想你去医院， 我要你天天跟我再一起。

What can I do about your Tantrum

If there is one thing I can do better, it is to better control myself when Brycen is in tantrum and to observe his behavior and prevent him from melting down.

Prevent Tantrum:
1. Pay attention to his cues and anticipate his desires. By doing this: Giving your young child some control over his life; Be aware of the signs that your young child is heading down towards a melt down, such as whining, crying, or complaining.These behaviors are the red flags you will need to learn to recognize.

2. Spanking, swatting, and yelling are especially unhelpful; give young child enough attention, comment on good behaviors.

3. He can't have everything he wants, but he has to be able to count on you for comfort.

When in Tantrum:

1. Do not give attention to tantrum. He need to isolate the family when he's in tantrum. Give him a safe place to calm down;

2. Parent take control of the situation and do not give in;

One important fact to recognize is that we all have temper tantrums occasionally. The first thing to keep in mind is that your child’s temper tantrums are not directed personally at you. In both cases, your child’s tantrums are all about the perceived lack of control of their surroundings, so try not to personalize them. While this may be difficult to do, remember, your child lacks the daily self-control that we adults take for granted. Temper tantrums are the only way your child knows how to express their frustration with the world around them.

One of the best approaches to tantrums is to avoid them as much as possible. Pay attention to your baby's cues and try to anticipate her desires. You can reduce her frustration even more by giving her a safe place to explore where you won't constantly have to tell her no.

Screaming comes naturally to babies, and you can't force her to keep her temper. Spanking, swatting, and yelling are especially unhelpful. Your baby will only become more unhappy and distressed. If you're feeling angry, it's okay to put her in a safe place, like a play yard, and let her scream and cry until you have a chance to calm down. She can't have everything she wants, but she has to be able to count on you for comfort.

He's upside down; Xia Er Duo

幽默一：今晚吃完饭后， 不赖森和弟弟和妈咪三个人一起去散步。 不赖森坚持拿他的bubble sword 到Angelina家要让Angelina 借， 而且要她只能借一星期。 走着走着， 到了一个房子前面。 有几个大哥哥坐在他家门口聊天。 两个人坐着， 一个人趴在草地上， 双脚朝天上翘。 不赖森跟他们说hi. 然后惊奇的说： Mommy, he's upside down!

幽默二： 妈咪最近经常跟不赖森讲候宝林的经典笑话： 五官争功。 不赖森很喜欢听， 而且经常还加上身体的其他部位， 说这些部位的功劳都很大。 不赖森自己加上了心跳， 皮肤， 脖子等等， 还问了很多很好的问题比如说： 为什么鼻子和心脏晚上不能睡觉？ 等等等等。 妈咪讲故事的时候先说到： 假如眼睛没用了， 就会变成瞎子。 等讲到耳朵的时候，妈咪说：假如耳朵没用了，就叫聋子。 不赖森跳出来说：不是， 是叫瞎耳朵。妈咪不禁一笑 纠正他。 不赖森就不满意了说： 不是， 是叫瞎耳朵。 I want to say whatever I want!

4 Steps to Teaching Kids Responsibility

4 Steps to Teaching Kids Responsibility

Psychologist Charles Fay, Ph.D., of the Love and Logic Institute, suggests four steps for parents who want their children to learn self-discipline and a sense of responsibility:

1. Give children lots of freedom to exercisechoices over issues with small consequences.

2. Secretly hope your child blows it.

3. When he or she blows it, provide a dose of sympathy.

4. Let your child make the same mistake again.

The mistake some parents make, Fay says, is intervening rather than letting natural consequences take their course. Children learn from their mistakes.
- Sandra Whitehead

How do you do this?

Start by setting and maintaining consistent limits. Young children need parents to set boundaries, says Genett. "Children need to know that parents will do what it takes to keep them safe. These limits help them develop a healthy personality. As they grow up, they integrate these limits into their own self-discipline.

"If parents don't set limits, kids become unruly, and take physical and psychological risks," she says. "These children are unhappy and often have psychological problems. They know something is wrong, but they don't know what to do about it."

As children get older, involve them in developing their own rules and consequences, Brooks advises. This also allows parents to teach kids that rules are not arbitrary; there are reasons for them.

Pay attention to how you parent. Parenting styles make a difference in teaching self-discipline, says Fay. He describes three typical parenting approaches, but notes that only one of them does the job:

1. Drill Sergeant Parents - Constantly tell kids what decisions to make and what their values should be. They bark out orders and expect their kids to follow them. Their children grow up needing someone to tell them what to do, says Fay.
2. Helicopter Parents - Hover over their children, and when the kids make a bad decision, they swoop in and solve the problem. Their kids grow up believing they need someone to rescue them.
3. Consultant Parents - Boss and rescue as little as possible. They share their thoughts, but they don't tell kids what to do. They don't take on a child's problem as their own. Their strategy is to give their kids the opportunity to make choices when the consequences are small and then let the children deal with the consequences of their decisions. Ultimately, this helps a child develop self-discipline.

我长大了还是你儿子吗？

今天晚上， 妈咪跟不赖森玩， 帮忙不赖森刷牙洗澡读故事后， 象往常一样把灯关了就自己去洗澡了。 洗完澡后， 估计不赖森睡着了， 妈咪过去看不赖森有没有盖好被子。 在黑暗里妈咪摸到了不赖森的嫩腿， 就轻轻的把被子盖上。 没想到， 不赖森突然说话：

不赖森： 妈咪， 我长大了还是你儿子吗？

妈咪楞了一下就笑了： 你还没睡着啊， 我以为你睡着了呢！你是不是一直在想这个问题， 想得睡不着啊？

不赖森： 恩，点点头， 然后就抱着妈咪。

妈咪： 那你说， 你长大了还要不要当我的儿子啊？

不赖森： 要。

妈咪： 就是了。 不管你长得多大， 你永远都是妈咪的儿子。 就象妈咪一样， 虽然现在这么大了， 还是爷爷奶奶得女儿。

不赖森： 那爹地是谁得儿子。

妈咪： 江西爷爷奶奶啊。

妈咪边说边抱着不赖森，亲到了不赖森得耳朵。 不赖森笑了： 哟， 你亲到我得耳朵了。。。。

my heartbeat is magic

最近不赖森对身体得器官很感兴趣， 讲了很多关于心跳得东西。 妈咪从幼儿园接不赖森回来。 两个人跑着还比较谁的心跳快。 最后，妈咪开车回家。

不赖森： 妈咪， 你开车，我的心跳跳得很快。

妈咪： 为什么？

不赖森： because my heart is magic!

I run faster than her

妈咪带不赖森去公园玩。 刚到公园， 就见到一个女孩子在跑步， 穿的是六号球衣。 不赖森说： 妈咪， 我跑得比她快？ 妈咪问： 为什么？ 不赖森说： 因为我是5号啊， 她是六号。 妈咪不禁笑起来：原来在不赖森得垒球班上， 不赖森穿得是5号球衣！

Making the technical Sale by Rick Greenwald and James Milbery - Handling objections

Handling objections:

Three types of objections from most difficult to address to easy to address: philosophical objections; feature objections; and benefit objections

Three approaches for handling objections: rebutting and education. Rebutting an objection closes off communication with the prospect. Working down the grid to benefit objections so that an education approach is amenable. 1) address the objection immediately; 2) repositioning; You can do repositioning an objection to an education approach can handle. 3) park the objection and address later or follow up to establish rapport and credibility. Agree with customer in some sense, remain your curiosity and poke around to gain information. Do not be too defensive. Remember, by offering objections, your prospect is giving you valuable insights into his or her evaluation criteria. Use these objections to understand your prospects' real needs and wants.
Some objections are major while some are minor. Do not let the minor objections interfere your presentation flow.

When an objection comes up, firstly, try quickly to understand what type of objection you are dealing with so that you can ascertain the best technique to handle it; secondly, determine how to address it. It can help if you make a habit of repeating an object when you hear it.

cute, silly, coffee

1. 电视里的一个男角色努力伸手去救一个女角色去躲瘴气,女角色终于无力闭上眼睛晕过去, 布莱森看到女角色闭眼的时候, 很叹息地说: "oh......that's so cute!"
2. 布莱森和妈咪做BART去berkeley参加berkeley free clinic dental lottery. 在回到BART站的时候, 布莱森内急难忍, 妈妈在停车场打开车门站在后边做掩护. 妈咪催布莱森快免得给人看到了. 布莱森说: 妈咪, 不用, 他们会以为这是咖啡!
3. 布莱森和他的好朋友angelina在家里玩, 妈咪在留意他们讲话, 女孩子就是发育得早一些, 说: you can be the daddy and I can be the mommy. ... but no... I can not marry you because....才五岁的小孩子就已经有这些意识了. 布莱森估计听不大懂没有接话. 继续玩其他的, 过来一阵子, 他说: oh... am I silly? Angelina: yes... 布莱森然后就自嘲的说: oh... silly brycen...而且还很高兴的样子!

布莱森挺惨的- 爷爷的话

这几天在做爷爷的思想工作，希望爷爷奶奶办签证延期帮忙我们到弟弟一岁。爷爷一直心理不太愿意，某一天走路回来就同意了。奶奶悄悄的跟妈咪说：爷爷说布莱森挺惨的。布莱森也不是很坏的孩子，我们爸爸妈妈竟然这样对他又吼又吓的很凶的。妈咪听了很震惊。- 是啊，想像有些时候我们也真是没有爱心耐心。大人心理只是一个劲的想着弄好了小孩子的事情可以自己可以好好休息一下，坐在电视计算机前面不受打扰的看自己想看的东西。要知道，在小孩子的心理，他们也就仅仅希望能得到点父母的关爱和陪伴， 毕竟一天24小时， 也就是吃完晚餐的时间可以一起玩一下。旁观者清，爷爷奶奶看得出我们对小孩子并不是很耐烦。我们当父母的每天就象个机器一样的运转，却很少安静一下，从小孩子的角度，想想他们需要的是什么。这个事情妈咪爹地做的不好，以后要多改进。用更多的耐心和爱心和布莱森一起成长。想想30年前，爷爷奶奶在物质生活环境不是很好的时候，妈咪自己从来没觉得不幸福过。记忆里从来没有爷爷奶奶对妈咪凶过。我们作为工作的机器，虽说为孩子提供了丰富的物质条件，可是对小孩子来说，精神上的愉悦和幸福并不是金钱可以买到的，却是可以用自己的耐心和爱心去付出。爷爷最终不顾自己或这或那的担心而同意多在美国呆半年，心里还是惦记着布莱森的。- 这是世间爷爷奶奶对孙子最无私又是最微妙的隔代的爱了。当爸妈的当以谨记并在行动上爱护布莱森的成长，让他成为一个自信活泼自强的好孩子， 而不是脾气暴躁的令人处处烦心的问题孩子。

喝牛奶产牛奶， 大乖乖

1）妈咪要喂奶，多喝水保证有足够的水。布莱森看了说：不对，妈咪你要多喝牛奶才能产牛奶给弟弟喝！

2）某一天起来，妈咪叫布莱森，还是老习惯叫布莱森小乖乖。布莱森说：妈咪，我已经长大了，我比弟弟大。我是叫大乖乖， 弟弟才叫小乖乖！

3）妈咪给布莱森讲小马过河的故事， 大象说河浅，松鼠说河深，为什么同一条河的深浅有不同的说法？布莱森想一想，说：因为大象的腿长，松鼠的腿短呀！（好家伙！分析能力就这么强了！）

positive parenting

Childtime offered a free parenting section with a parenting consultant whose name I forgot. Here are the key points:

1) Sum it up with a word: try not to lecture your child in a long drawn out fashion. Try to think of one word that can get your message across to your child. (Less than 10 words, no yelling)

2) Acknowledge your child's feelings - let your child know that all of his/her feelings are valid. also remember to give his/her feeling a name. All feelings can be accepted. Do not compare your kid to the others including sisters or brothers.

3) Active listening - This skill helps a child clarify his feelings so that he can solve his own problems. It involves reflecting the feelings or content of a child's message. You can do this by repeating child's words to let them work through the process. Be a listener rather than a drop 2 cents.

4) Describe the situation - Tell the child in a few brief sentences what you see and what you feel.

5) Choices - allow children to help be in control of themselves by offering them a limited choices.

6) Problem solve - use this communication sill if you have a recurring problem. There are basic 6 steps:

a) discuss you and your child's feelings

b) discuss you and your child's needs

c) brainstorming ideas to the problem together

d) write down your brainstorm list

e) together decide upon a solution to the problem from your brainstorm list

f) carry through with your solution.

7) talk about child's 3 positive things before bed will help a child sleep; to make the improvement better, provide about 10:4 positive vs. negative comments on a child.

Remember: change takes a lot of time. Use nature consequences that mentally painful for them; don't fight for things that doesn't matter.

kiss to marry

After Brycen and Mom kissed good night,

Brycen smiled and said: When we kiss, we are to be married. Right?

Mom: Mommy is already married to Daddy. That's why we have you.

Brycen (very sad and crying...): No.... I want to marry you! not Daddy!

KCB at Childtime Martinez

Teacher: Ms. Denise McFarlane (very creative, caring and loving teacher that I like)

KCB student list:

Spencer Barlow (4/20/06)

Jack D Chrismer (1/9/06)

Ava Davis (1/24/06) brother: Jace

Jason Detre (12/7/05)

Ava Filer (1/14/06)

Stephanie Gerber (5/8/06)

Angelina Ma (4/19/06) brother: Braydon Ma; Anthony Ruijie (瑞杰) Zhang (04/27/11)

Jack Miller (12/14/05)

Theodore Rodrigues (1/20/06)

Ryleigh Todd (4/18/06)

一十八个弟弟

今晚妈咪在洗澡地时候小乖乖需要上厕所， 一下子就冲进来。 看到妈咪地肚子。 小乖乖说： “哇！” 妈咪说：“哇什么？！” 小乖乖：“你地肚子真大呀。 妈咪， 你肚子里有一十八个弟弟！”

真情流露

今天爹地回中国去接外公外婆到美国来。 爹地要走16天呢， 留下32周怀孕的妈咪和即将5周岁的小乖乖。 平时爹地在的时候， 也不见小乖乖怎么想跟爹地玩， 只是缠着妈咪。 爹地一走，家里显得空空荡荡的。 小乖乖回到家里就找爹地。 到了晚上9 点多准备睡觉的时候， 小乖乖突然坐在床上，伤心地说， “妈咪， 我想爹地。 我很想他， 我想跟他讲话。 我要跟爹地天天在一起。” 真是奇迹啊， 平时也从来没说过这么想爹地地话， 爹地一走就想他。 小乖乖边说着， 眼泪还真狠狠地往下掉。。。。想着早上妈咪送爹地去bart的时候， 想着前面16天要自己挺着大肚子顶这个天， 照顾好小乖乖， 感觉身上负担很重啊。妈咪的眼泪也是无法控制的掉下来， 但想想爹地昨晚在家里辛勤地打扫厨房灶台， 地板， 早上起来就洗衣服， 也算是很理解妈咪地辛苦了。 分别地时候， 爹地还给妈咪一个拥抱， 虽是简单地一句话：“自己小心一点， 多保重” 妈咪地眼泪就跟无法控制了。 相聚地时候总是磕磕碰碰， 吵吵闹闹， 离别地时候才知道思念地滋味和真心地牵挂。

student of the month - November 2010

Brycen won student of the month- 100% perfect at Childtime. Here is Ms. Denise's commentary at assembly.

When Brycen first comes to class, he is a little quiet but it doesn't take him long to jump right in. One of Brycen's favoraite things to do in the KCB class is to be a classroom helper. Brycen loves to help whether its setting the table for lunch or being the line leader he's ready. Brycen also likes to try all the activities that are out on the table. He really doesn't have a favorite, he loves it al. One of Brycen's favorite areas to go is the writing area. He loves to do puzzles and make special pictures for his friends. Even though sometimes he can be kind of quiet, Brycen has a smile that lights up the whole KCB room. It's a pleasure having Brycen in the class. Way to go Brycen!!

为什么现在不自己睡了？

2011年1月下旬得时候， 不赖森主动要求要自己睡一个房间， 不要嗲地妈咪陪。 睡得很好。可是过了一个多月后， 小乖乖就要妈咪爹地陪他睡一会儿， 要么是上床前， 要么是起床前， 然后就开始要求到妈咪的房间里睡了。 妈咪再不同得时间问了他得原因， 下边是小乖乖曾经说出来的原因：

1。 害怕西游记里边的故事

2。 家里要一人一个房间， 现在只有三个房间， 怕爷爷奶奶过来了跟妈咪一起睡

3。 害怕黑暗

4。 要先睡小床， 等弟弟出来了他就把小床给弟弟， 自己去睡大床。

5。 害怕地震

黑店白店

去burger King 买了薯条，竟然吃起来是苦的。 连不赖森饿着都不吃。 妈咪说： 这burger king真是黑店， 以后再也不去那里买东西吃了。 这一天， 妈咪和不赖森来到了harvest house concord， 里边有很多很特别的点心样板吃， 很好吃。 不赖森吃得很高兴， 说： 妈咪， 我喜欢这家店， 这是家白店。 不是黑店。

The wonder of boys - Michael Gurian

Here are some notes quoted from the book:

1. Mom-son relationship

Mom feel guilt, fear and abandonment in mom-son separation.

Guilt: A mother often thinks, quite subconsciously that she must keep doing more and more for her son. She thinks if she doesn't, she's a bad mother.

Fear: Mother often want to protect their son from the suffering of the world in general, and especially manhood in particular.

Abandonment: in many ways, without either mother or son realizing, they have become an intimate couple. Many mothers, especially wives of emotionally distant husbands, experience letting go of the son as the destruction of their only love relationship with a giving loving male.

However, for the son, they feel this way:

Guilt: guilt for pulling away from the woman who has meant more to him than anyone.If mother uses passive-aggressive behavior or other ways to show him how much he's hurting her, he'll even feel more guilty.

Anger(sometimes rage): Anger at himself because he can't let go of dependence on mom. anger at mom because she can't teach him manhood; anger at mom because she won't let him go easily. anger at father or other men who do less than they can to help boys separate from mom and find manhood.

Fear: fear of leaving the safety of mom's psychological umbilical cord. who else will be ever be able to trust like he trusted mom?

How do we help our son gracefully mature beyond psychological dependence on mom:

1). team sport activity: basket ball, soccer, hockey, rafting... It's a good way to teach kid responsible, discipline and gracefully entering their manhood. This is the most significant way hat we provide a hero's journey for our next generation.

2). Father to bring/welcome him into male group for support.

3). Father spend more ruffle time with kids.

2. The healthy father

The father must make a conscious decision to be a father.

The father must begin fathering during his wife's pregnancy and very early in the child's infancy. The father must be self-aware. How can a man raise a son, who is striving toward self-awareness, if he the father is closed-down, unaware, unable to change and grow?

The father must be comfortable with his body, his gender, his sexuality, his sensual apprehension of nature and the world around him. He must know how to flourish in himself physically so that he can help his very physically oriented son to flourish as well. He must talk to the son about sex, nature, biology, gender and he must listen.

The father must learn how to communicate with the boy he is raising. That boy will be like other boys, but very individual too. The father will have to learn new skills to keep up with his son's growth.

The father must not only let the son find other mentors but must consciously help him do so. Throughout human history, fathers have found mentors for their sons, mentors who would train the boys in skills the father did not posses, mentors to whom the son could turn when he needed to learn more about certain aspects of the male mode of feeling the father just didn't have the ability to teach.

The father must let go of the son yet still remain a model. He must live a vision he himself has searched through and accepted from a position of spiritual freedom so that his son can find that freedom as well.

3. Father "refuel" an emotional charge through a hug or pat. As the boy grows up, this concept of refueling will continue to work, with modification. Even a five- or seven or ten-years old who appears to be demanding huge amounts of time from a tired father is often just demanding five or ten minutes of a refueled father-son relationship. If the father, tired from work, spends just half an hour with the boy, both will feel refueled. If the father doesn't spend the minimal amount of time with his child, he'll actually end up spending more than that amount of time and energy dealing with his son's anger, rejection, and abandonment throughout an evening, weekend, or lifetime.

costco的人已经数了

谨华要摆电池， 家里刚好有很多从costco买回来的电池。 一盒48个。 妈咪为了让他学习数数，就说： 你数一数总共有多少个电池。 谨华说： 不用了， costco 的人已经数了。

I love the girl

Last night before bed, Mommy is helping Brycen change clothes.

Brycen: Mommy, I love the girl in pink dress dancing ballet.

Mommy: really?What do you like specifically?

Brycen: Her eyes, her mouth, her leg, her body and everything! It is so beautiful.

Mommy: That's right. Do you know how can she be so beautiful? She practice many many times.

Brycen: Mommy, can you wear Ballet dress and dance Ballet too?

Mommy: [hesitating] Yes Mommy can if mommy have time to practice.

Mommy checked with Daddy if he just saw ballet dancing just now in the TV? Daddy confirmed it and said yeah it indeed very beautiful!

Parenting: immediately action plan

After talking to different Moms, the most critical skills to help kids develop to help them and (parent) successful are as follows:

1. 1. Help kid focus and self discipline in learning.

2. 2. Do not spoil kid. Establish authority and follow rules thoroughly.

3. 3. Good habit starts from cleaning up, eating on his own fast, arrive school in time and actually to be ahead of everyone.

4. 4. Help kid prioritize his tasks. Take priority to finish homework and only after that help kid enjoy fun and other extra curriculum.

5. 5. Reading, writing, language and math skills are the most critical skills to help kid build confidence and stay easy in school, which will further foster their head start in other field.

The above are all what I need to focus. Immediately action plan for me and Feilong to improve: (Don’t let the second child be an excuse. If I can not do this well at this time, after the second child is born, I would not have enough effort/energy to help Brycen anymore and it will have bad influence after he goes to 1^st grade and on the second child.)

1. 1. 20 minutes meal rule

2. 2. Brycen to brush teeth, wipe his face on his own, only with limited supervision.

3. 3. Help Brycen recognize/write Alphabet and his name better. Strengthen his math skills

4. 4. Stay close to school curriculum and borrow related books to read

5. 5. Keep reading books/stories to him before bed.

6. 6. Teach him sight word (100 words) that he will learn in K at home. Practice reading and counting.

7. 7. Develop a proper daily/weekend schedule to help him learn and have fun.

8. 8. Be more patient. No yelling and threatening. Authority is not established in this way. Be straight forward with action terms and be concise about what to expect him to do. Keep repeating the same order. Do not need much reasoning about why shall he need to do this. Simply let him know what to do!

9. 9. Help him develop good habits: put aside toys/clearning up after playing or before change to next theme. Arrive school before 9:30AM so that he can fully take advantage of the circle time at 9:30AM.

10. 10. Learn some children psychology and educational basics. To be aware of and pay attention in daily parenting.

Parenting: books about boys

Books for boys:

1. 1. Bringing up boys-practical advice and encouragement for those shaping the next generation of men, Dr.James Dobson [Read in Jan, 2011]

2. 2. Raising cain- protecting the emotional life of boys, Dan Kindlon, Michael Thompson [to cont. after chapter 2 later, lower priority]

3. 3. The wonder of boys – what parents, mentors and educators can do to shape boys into exceptional men, Michael Gurian [1 top priority]

4. 4. Siblings without rivalry – How to help your children live together so you can live too, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish [4th priority]

5. 5. How to talk so kids will listen and Listen so kids will talk [ 3 priority]

6. 6. Children psychology, children education [to look for good books, 2^nd priority]

Some notes learned from “bringing up boys”

1. Boys need to connect to men- his father, rather then his mother. Mother essentially provide all boys need while boys need father to mode him. Mother need to be brave to break such tendency and habits.

2. The school is dorminated by women. Learning environment is tailored to girls. Boys is about 6 months later in development than girls. Boys often feel frustrated in school. It’s difficult for boy to keep focus and keep quiet in school. Keeping their hands busy while help them develop self-discipline is critical.

3. Reading, language and math is critical for children to pick up in school and build up their confidence and speed up their extra curriculum.

4. During teenage, boys are much likely than girls to have drugs, bad habits built up. Understand their needs and communicate effective with them is the key.

5. What boys remember after they grow up is not a zoo trip, a vacation etc., rather that the tradition that a family celebrate year after year or simple activities that he shares with his parents like rustle with his father after his father came back from work. Develop family tradition will help to bond the family together. Share our lives with pleasant daily routins and repititions rather than changes.

6. Boys all want to be masculine. Help them develop manship to avoid homosexuality problem in the future.

7. About competiton: Winning at this age is nothing, teaching your boy to deal properly with his anger, disappointment, and frustration is everything. This doesn’t mean that you should belittle or ignore his feelings in difficult moments.The issue is not just that he lost but that he embarrassed himself at having failed. It goes straight into his heart. Let your son talk about the experience and help him understand that there will be wins and looses for the rest of life.

8. Start a day within the first 5 minutes to have harmony connection with the family.

9. If you nag and criticize your child incessantly, he’ll begin to develop bad attitudes toward work. Tranform it into a game, which makes life easier for everyone.

Some notes from “raising cain”

1. Boys are much less likely to use emotional language and literacy like love , hate, frustrated, don’t like etc. Help them develop such language and help them express their emotional will help boys understand and are aware of their emotional better and develop their emotional intelligence.

我想到弟弟的名字了

2011年1月1号。妈咪还在睡， 时间还早呢。

布莱森： 妈咪， 我想到弟弟的名字了。

妈咪：是吗， 叫什么？（妈咪虽然还睡得咪咪糊糊， 也不禁精神一振！）

布莱森： 弟弟就叫DJ.

妈咪： DJ? 不错啊。 你怎么觉得要给弟弟这名字呢？

布莱森：还可以叫AJ。 因为DJ和AJ可以连在一起呀。就叫DJ AJ 吧。

妈咪心里真高兴， 小乖乖给弟弟取得名字也挺不错的啊。 妈咪起床后跟爸地讲这小乖乖取的名字，爸地也使劲说这DJ名字取的好呢！ 到目前为止， 妈咪就有这几个弟弟名字候选人： Keenon 中文谐音： 奇能。 中文名字就叫刘珞宁－取义：珞珞如玉， 地得一以宁。来自老子：象宝玉一样坚实， 地一得道而宁静。不足的一点： 在潮州方言， 洛宁跟个不好的话是谐音，而且这个宁和爸爸的龙子是谐音的。 要个好的名字， 别人不能重复， 自家人当然也不能重复了， 因为在妈咪心里， 小乖乖永远是唯一独特的， 是一枝独秀的！