Books for boys:
1. 1. Bringing up boys-practical advice and encouragement for those shaping the next generation of men, Dr.James Dobson [Read in Jan, 2011]
2. 2. Raising cain- protecting the emotional life of boys, Dan Kindlon, Michael Thompson [to cont. after chapter 2 later, lower priority]
3. 3. The wonder of boys – what parents, mentors and educators can do to shape boys into exceptional men, Michael Gurian [1 top priority]
4. 4. Siblings without rivalry – How to help your children live together so you can live too, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish [4th priority]
5. 5. How to talk so kids will listen and Listen so kids will talk [ 3 priority]
6. 6. Children psychology, children education [to look for good books, 2nd priority]
Some notes learned from “bringing up boys”
1. Boys need to connect to men- his father, rather then his mother. Mother essentially provide all boys need while boys need father to mode him. Mother need to be brave to break such tendency and habits.
2. The school is dorminated by women. Learning environment is tailored to girls. Boys is about 6 months later in development than girls. Boys often feel frustrated in school. It’s difficult for boy to keep focus and keep quiet in school. Keeping their hands busy while help them develop self-discipline is critical.
3. Reading, language and math is critical for children to pick up in school and build up their confidence and speed up their extra curriculum.
4. During teenage, boys are much likely than girls to have drugs, bad habits built up. Understand their needs and communicate effective with them is the key.
5. What boys remember after they grow up is not a zoo trip, a vacation etc., rather that the tradition that a family celebrate year after year or simple activities that he shares with his parents like rustle with his father after his father came back from work. Develop family tradition will help to bond the family together. Share our lives with pleasant daily routins and repititions rather than changes.
6. Boys all want to be masculine. Help them develop manship to avoid homosexuality problem in the future.
7. About competiton: Winning at this age is nothing, teaching your boy to deal properly with his anger, disappointment, and frustration is everything. This doesn’t mean that you should belittle or ignore his feelings in difficult moments.The issue is not just that he lost but that he embarrassed himself at having failed. It goes straight into his heart. Let your son talk about the experience and help him understand that there will be wins and looses for the rest of life.
8. Start a day within the first 5 minutes to have harmony connection with the family.
9. If you nag and criticize your child incessantly, he’ll begin to develop bad attitudes toward work. Tranform it into a game, which makes life easier for everyone.
Some notes from “raising cain”
1. Boys are much less likely to use emotional language and literacy like love , hate, frustrated, don’t like etc. Help them develop such language and help them express their emotional will help boys understand and are aware of their emotional better and develop their emotional intelligence.
